


The Healing of Honey

by TwinklingCupcake



Series: Honeycomb AU [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bee Miraculous, Emotional Recovery, Gen, Nightmares, and a lot of sabrina angst, and there are still some loose ends, please believe in yourself sabrina, these things can't be fixed overnight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinklingCupcake/pseuds/TwinklingCupcake
Summary: [sequel to Bee-Nevolent] Sabrina thought her life should only improve, after what's happened. And some things are improving, but... Some things take time. Friendship takes time. And these nightmares aren't helping.Neither are her teammates' obliviousness, come to think of it.





	1. Stop and Stare

How did she get here?

Honeycomb stood in the middle of a dark room. No, more than dark, it was pitch-black. She couldn’t see anything, not even-- Experimentally, she brought her hand up to her face, moving it closer until her palm touched her nose. No, she couldn’t even see her hand.

Where was she? 

And...what was the faint rustling sound?

Honeycomb moved her hand to her little hexagon, effortlessly pulling it off and opening her communicator. It gave off a tiny light, not enough to properly see, but if she tilted it towards the floor, maybe she could--

Her heart stopped as she saw it.

All over the floor.

Butterflies. White butterflies.

The ones nearest her flew away, disturbed by the faint light of her communicator. Honeycomb almost screamed, catching herself just time, her arms coming up to shield her head. The butterflies here were white, not black, but they were no less threatening! A white butterfly could become a black one. She could become Vanisher again. Or worse.

….worse…

If...if she was _here..._ that must have meant--

Honeycomb’s breath caught.

If the butterflies were all here...then this must have been where _he_ stayed. Where _he_ had been when he’d sent one after her. And after her classmates. After everyone. If this was _his_ lair…

She had to leave. She didn’t know how she got here, but she had to get out. _Now._

Holding her breath, Honeycomb gingerly picked her feet through the butterflies. They seemed to sense her coming, parting slightly to let her through - or avoid being crushed underfoot. A few of their wings brushed against her foot; she couldn’t help recoiling, couldn’t help the shudder that ran up her spine.

They didn’t seem to affect her, though. They didn’t want to hurt her. Maybe they didn’t even notice she was there. Or they thought she was their master - it was dark, they didn’t have eyes, right?

Her heart hammered in her chest, her throat was dry. She had to just keep quiet. She had to pick her way through the dark, find the exit. Find the exit, get out, find where exactly this place _was…_ She had to get back to Ladybug and Chat Noir with this. She had to tell them - she had to tell her friends--

_“Oh, Vanisher…”_

Her heart stopped.

An overwhelming presence was suddenly right behind her.

_“Did you really think you could just leave?”_

**“Benevolence!”** Honeycomb screamed, whirling around and pointing her wand at the darkness. A half-second later she berated herself - Benevolence was a healing move, not an offensive move, she wasn’t--

The butterflies sensed a threat. In a massive wave, they rose up, surged past her. Honeycomb’s scream was lost in a roar of rustling, flapping wings, her wand falling from her hands to the ground.

No, no, it didn’t even reach the ground.

Her comb was pulled from her hair, and she felt her transformation fall away. The wand dissolved into specs of gold light; she heard Hanii’s voice shouting something to her but it was too muffled - and abruptly cut off.

“Hanii!” Sabrina screamed over the noise of the wings - the butterflies weren’t moving _past_ her, they were _around_ her, trapping her in one place, holding her--

She felt one touch her shoulder.

And then she felt something familiar; a heavy fog creeping into her skull.

“No,” she begged, hands coming up to grab her head. “No no no I can’t be-- The Miraculous protects me, I can’t--”

_“But you don’t have a Miraculous anymore.”_

Another butterfly landed on her arm. Another on her leg. Another touched the top of her head.

With every new butterfly, the fog grew stronger, she felt a searing pain begin to flow through her veins.

_“Don’t worry, you can’t be Vanisher again. How can you, when you demanded to be seen?”_

“Please--” Sabrina cried out. She felt herself being warped, felt her mind twisting. Purple light crept in from the edges of her vision.

“You won’t get away with it!” she managed to scream. Even with all the fear, anger pushed through. “My friends will--”

_“Silly girl…You don’t have any friends.”_

The butterflies enveloped her.

“Sabrina!”

 

* * *

 

“Sabrina!”

Sabrina screamed, jolting upright. The butterflies fell away, but something was still around her shoulders. With another scream that hurt her already-dry, sore throat, she flailed her arms out to smack her captor away. She wasn’t going there. She wasn’t going in there!

“Sabrina!”

 _He couldn’t transform her!_  

“Sabrina, it’s _me!”_ The light clicked on then, and Sabrina found herself staring into the wide, shocked eyes of her classmate, Marinette.

Marinette.

Marinette?

Sabrina blinked, hard, and then her ears caught the sound of heavy, rapid footfalls.

The trapdoor a few feet away suddenly lifted, and a big man began to climb through, wielding a metal baseball bat in one hand. “What happened?!” he cried, halting his climb once he saw the girls were alone in the room.

“We heard a scream!” Marinette’s mother peered through, her husband making room for her. “Are you girls alright?”

“Yeah,” Marinette said. “Yeah, uh--”

“Nightmare…” Sabrina mumbled, slowly waking up the rest of the way. “It was only a nightmare…” She was speaking more to herself than anyone else. It was only a nightmare. She wasn’t hurt. She wasn’t a prisoner. She wasn’t...she was safe…

The floorboards creaked slightly, and Sabrina jumped a little as Sabine crouched in front of her, brow furrowed as she pushed back a lock of Sabrina’s hair. “Oh my goodness, you’re _soaked,_ ” she murmured.

She was, too. Her face was cold and damp with sweat, making her hair stick to her it uncomfortably. Some locks of hair closer to her face were drenched, and her pajamas clung to her almost like another skin.

“That must have been _some_ dream,” came Marinette’s dad’s voice. “Do you need us to call your father?”

“No!” Sabrina cried, instantly regretting it. Not only did it make her look suspicious, but it irritated her dry throat. She swallowed a few times, willing her hands to stop shaking so much, and forced a smile. “No, no, I’m fine, I’ve been worrying about a test coming up and I have test anxiety, you see!”

Well, they didn’t, because they hardly knew her but…

But that worked to her advantage, didn’t it?

It took about five minutes for them to leave. During those five minutes, Sabrina was given a damp towel to clean her face, was offered a change of pajamas (which she declined), and had a drink of water. Marinette’s mom had wanted to bring her tea, or hot milk, but Sabrina managed to convince her that all she needed was to wet her throat again.

The whole time, Marinette kept giving her looks behind her parents’ backs.

Finally, after one more assurance that nobody needed to call her father, that she always got like this before a big test, the trapdoor closed, and the sound of footsteps slowly faded away.

Once they couldn’t hear anything, the light clicked back on. Marinette sat herself right in front of Sabrina. “Okay, what were you _really_ dreaming about?”

Sabrina said nothing.

“Sabrina.”

Oh, now Marinette sounded more like Ladybug that time.

Which...which she was, of course…

In any case, Sabrina sighed and looked away from the lamp (where their kwami were sitting, gazing at them in concern) and back at her teammate. Marinette was looking at her with a mixture of concern and sternness on her face, a look Sabrina recognized from some of the candid shots on the Ladyblog. She couldn’t help flinching a little - the look was a little unnerving when _she_ was on the receiving end of it.

“It wasn’t anything,” she said.

“Sabrina.” Marinette’s frown deepened. “You were sweating. You screamed and pushed me away. You almost _hit_ Hanii,” she added, gesturing to the lamp.

“I what?!” Sabrina cried, whipping her head around to look at her kwami again, eyes wide in horror.

“It’s okay, Sabrina!” Hanii was quick to say, zipping over to her. She placed her tiny hands on Sabrina’s nose, smiling in a comforting way. “It’s okay, you didn’t hit me. You didn’t even mean to, it was a nightmare.”

“A bad one from the sounds of it,” Tikki offered.

“So. Tell me what happened,” Marinette said, voice softening.

Well, with three against one, she didn’t have much of a choice, did she? Sabrina sighed shakily, holding her cupped hands out for Hanii to float into. She gazed down at Hanii instead of looking at the girl and kwami opposite her, taking a moment to gather her courage before speaking:

“I had a dream about Hawk Moth,” she confessed.

There were no gasps of horror, no little utterances of _“no”_ … Just Hanii reaching out to lightly squeeze Sabrina’s finger.

“He knows,” Sabrina murmured to her hands, drawing her knees closer to herself. “And I keep thinking that he’ll…”

Warm hands touched her shoulders. Sabrina lifted her head tiredly, looking into Marinette’s eyes again.

The stern look was gone. Now there was just concern and reassurance, with something else below the surface. “He isn’t going to hurt you,” she said quietly.

“I _know,_ it’s not _my_ Miraculous he wants, so he shouldn’t--”

“No, not because of that.” Marinette’s hands lightly squeezed Sabrina’s shoulders. “Because we won’t let him. Nothing is going to happen to you, Sabrina. You’ve got _me!”_

 _And Chat,_ Sabrina thought to herself. But then again, the other two didn’t know each other’s identities, and Marinette was _clearly_ meaning both civilian and hero self…

That was why she was sleeping over again, she recalled. To have some kind of bodyguard.

 _And because you’re friends, aren’t you?_ a voice seemed to whisper. _You’re friends, remember that._

Yeah. 

Sabrina smiled a little.

Yeah, and they were friends.

Weird as it was to admit, given how the two of them were months ago.

“Thanks, Marinette.”

Tikki smiled and hovered between them. “All right, girls,” she said. “It’s five in the morning, and we all know you have school tomorrow. If Sabrina feels safe again, I think we should go back to sleep.”

Both girls laughed a little, keeping quiet so the adults downstairs couldn’t hear.

“And after school, you’re coming with me and Alya for smoothies,” Marinette reminded her, scooting back into her sleeping bag.

“I know, I know,” Sabrina chuckled weakly as she slid into her own bag. She paused briefly, then asked “Do you think it’ll be okay?” After all, Alya _was_ Marinette’s best friend _and_ one of the people Chloé had been giving a hard time… And Sabrina _was_ the one who’d alerted Chloé to the other girl photographing her locker--

“It’ll be fine. Trust me.” Marinette sounded so confident, so reassuring - so much like _Ladybug -_ that Sabrina had to believe her.

Hanii snuggled under Sabrina’s chin, and before long, they were all asleep again.

 

* * *

 It was almost as if the weather itself were determined to back up Marinette’s “It will be fine” claim. The morning was cloudless and beautiful, a little warmer than normal without being overbearing.

And there were no traffic issues, no morning Akuma, no bad news as the girls moved across the street to the school. Chloé was waiting out front, but she didn’t even look Sabrina’s way. Unlike the last time she’d done that, Sabrina just felt a happy thrill. Nobody would give her a bad time today. Nobody was going to hurt her.

And with Hanii in her bag and her comb in her hair, if an Akuma or even Hawk Moth himself _tried_ to do something, she’d be able to stop it in no time!

All in all? The day was starting out perfect.

 

She took a few steps back as Alya approached Marinette with a cheerful greeting. As the girls talked a bit, Sabrina hung slightly in the background, hands on her bag strap, smiling nervously. She didn’t try to get into the conversation - it wasn’t about her, it was none of her business, and Alya _was_ Marinette’s best friend so she had “first dibs” - but that was fine too. She waved slightly as Alya glanced at her...

...with a slight frown.

Sabrina’s heart gave a quick jolt, but the expression on Alya’s face faded slightly, and she lifted a hand to wave back. As she went back to her talk with Marinette, Sabrina sighed internally, and mentally kicked herself for being so jumpy.

“Hey, Marinette?” she piped up. “I’m going to go inside now, okay?”

“Oh! Sure, see you later - and remember, we’re meeting in the library after school!” Marinette called as Sabrina headed inside.

“I will!”

Sabrina grinned to herself. If someone had told her last month that there would be a day when she would not _only_ be one of Paris’s heroes, but also know the identities of the other two, _and_ would no longer interact with Chloé of her own free will, _and_ would be sleeping over at Marinette’s place on two different occasions _and_ would be walking with her to school _and_ would be invited out with her and Alya…

...well, she honestly wouldn’t have known what to think. Because it could have been a high fever, a delusion, a lying Akuma, or possibly the result of some illegal substances. And she would be personally checking their bags to make sure it wasn’t the last one on the list.

But sure enough...here this all was.

The rest of the class began to filter in. From her new place, Sabrina propped her chin in her hands and observed, letting the reality of the situation settle in _again._

It sometimes felt like she’d fallen into another universe entirely. A new seat, a new seatmate, different friends, a magic comb in her hair…

She knew the identities of Paris’s heroes, something that a lot of people would kill to know.

She knew something about Adrien that not even Chloé knew, something that Chloé would have killed _her_ for.

Chloé…

She tried not to look at Chloé as the blonde walked in, but curiosity got the better of her and she looked up just as she was sitting down. Chloé didn’t _appear_ to care that her seatmate wasn’t with her anymore, but there was only so much Sabrina could tell from the back.

Not that she minded that much, of course! As unsure as things felt sometimes, this was certain: there was _no way_ she was going back to Chloé. A shaky smile appeared on Sabrina’s face, and she had to quickly hold back a laugh. After all Chloé had done to her, how she’d been treated, after all the effort and tears and _especially_ after what’d happened on the school roof?

It would be a cold day in Hell before Sabrina willingly went back to that. Especially after she’d made _new_ friends!

Like…

...like…

Okay, so maybe she wouldn’t have called the rest of the class _friends_ per se, they didn’t know each other _that_ well, but they talked to her. They’d been concerned for her. Ivan willingly allowed her to sit next to him. And sure, Alya didn’t really talk to her when they’d arrived at school, but in time she’d…

A tiny bit of self-doubt started to tug at her, but Sabrina squashed it down.

Everything was fine. Everything was going great again. Her nightmares only came at night, in the few days since The Revealing, Hawk Moth hadn’t done anything - not to her or to Paris - and in the day, everything was fine.

She had nothing to worry about.

A calmer, relieved smile appeared on her face.

Things could only go up from here.

 

* * *

 

So she told herself.

So she believed.

Sabrina hurried down the hall towards the library, breathing hard. She’d meant to be there a few minutes ago, but her bag had fallen and spilled some of her books out, and she’d lost precious time in collecting them again. Well, okay, not _entirely_ because of the books, but she also had to make sure she hadn’t lost any of her homework, she had to make sure Hanii wasn’t hurt… Being in the back of the room meant she had to wait a little before she could leave because everyone nearer the door was getting there first…

But it was fine, she thought! She was only going to be two, maybe three minutes late. Marinette wouldn’t leave if she was a few minutes late, would she? She wasn’t Chloé, after all!

She slowed her pace as she reached the closed library door, reaching out to grab the handle--

“What’s going on with Sabrina lately?”

\--and halted, breath hitching in her throat.

“What do you--”

“I mean…” A small noise, like a cough, or clearing one’s throat. “I mean, look, it’s a little weird, right? Sabrina’s been _Chloé’s_ best friend for years. And sure, Chloé hasn’t been treating her the best, but she’s never left her side. And now, not only is she ditching Chloé, but she’s coming to school with you, and she’s joining us in town today. It’s just...unusual, is all.”

“Alya, listen, it’s really not...It’s not bad. _Sabrina_ isn’t bad--”

“Remember what happened when you were assigned together for that project? You told me she wouldn’t stop texting you, how she just latched onto you for a bit, how fast she went back to Chloé… I just don’t want to see that happen to you again, Mari.”

“It’s not - it’s different this time!”

“How do you know that?”

“...I can’t explain it, I just--”

“Girl, I know you feel sorry for her--”

A hot knife went through Sabrina’s chest.

“--but this isn’t the way to do it. What if Chloé gets mad at you for this? What if she does something to you? What if this is some trick--”

“It’s not a trick! I _promise--”_

“But Chloé could still do something! This isn’t - I mentioned the project, but this isn’t just working together. She’s _sleeping at your house_ and _you’re coming into school together._ You want her to join us for smoothies. This goes beyond just ‘homework partners,’ and Chloé would be _furious_ if you stole her friend--” Alya’s voice abruptly stopped, and she sighed loudly. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not going to - I - Alya, this isn’t--”

“After everything Chloé _and_ Sabrina have done to you, you want to forgive her? You just want to pretend none of it happened?”

“Alya--”

“Oh, hey, Sabrina, you want the door?”

A voice at her side made her jump. The voices inside abruptly ceased.

Kim pushed the door open, standing off to side. A bit further in the room, Alya and Marinette stared at the doorway, eyes wide.

Sabrina blinked. “Hey, ah--” she began, but her throat felt impossibly-tight. “Hey, I just reme-remembered! D-Dad needed me for--f-for something at home! I’ll have to-- I c-can’t…” She began taking shaky steps backwards, the forced smile on her face twitching painfully. “I’ll have to--” Her vision blurred, and she quickly ducked her head. _“I’llseeyouaround!”_ she shouted, turning and running the opposite direction.

 _“Sabrina, wait!”_ she heard behind her, but she wasn’t going to stop. Her legs burned and her feet were sore where they heavily hit the floor, but she didn’t care. She had to leave.

She had to get out of here.

She--

She smacked into someone, crying out more in surprise than pain.

“ _Sabrina?!”_

“Sorry!” she cried, keeping her head down. Once more, she ran. Down the stairs. Around a corner. Outside…

“Sabrina, wait!” a tiny voice came from her bag. “Slow down, you need to--”

She didn’t want to listen. Instead, she ducked into the nearest alley. _“Transform Me!”_

A flash of gold, and Honeycomb raced out into the streets. She didn’t know where she was going, she didn’t care, she just needed…

She needed altitude. To be alone, to get away.

So, with her new abilities and heightened _everything,_ she quickly made her way from the ground to the rooftops. She could hear some people exclaiming, hear some _clicks_ as people took pictures, but she didn’t pay them any mind. She just ran and leaped.

And she didn’t stop until she found herself on the roof of the _Louvre,_ without even knowing if she’d _intended_ to go there.

On the safety of the roof, she let her transformation drop, and collapsed, lungs and legs burning.

Hanii somersaulted in midair for a moment, still reeling a bit from the sudden transforming/de-transforming. Then she zipped over to Sabrina, frowning a bit. “Sabrina, what _happened?”_ she demanded. “You know better than to use the Miraculous for...Sabrina?” Her voice softened in worry as she noticed her charge wasn’t moving or acknowledging her. The redhead was just. Lying there. Sprawled out and face-down with her comb threatening to fall out, her hair loose and fanned around her head. “Sabrina?” she tried again, moving closer.

There was a faint sound coming from her. Hanii went quiet and listened...and then her eyes went wide.

Crying.

Sabrina was crying, moving her arms to hide her face.

“Sabrina? I thought you were going...Sabrina, honey, what’s _wrong?”_ Hanii cried, moving close, touching Sabrina’s hair.

Sabrina didn’t answer. She just cried, her sobs steadily increasing in volume as she berated herself.

She had a new seatmate, but he didn’t _talk_ to her, did he?

Her classmates had been concerned for her, but they weren’t _personal friends,_ were they?

She was friends with Ladybug and Chat Noir, but she barely associated with their civilian selves; her friendship with Marinette was new and tentative at best. And Marinette...Marinette only let her sleep at her house because she felt sorry for her, to guard her, not because they were good friends or anything!

Alya didn’t even seem to trust her.

She had…

Sabrina’s grip on her arms tightened as she wept, heedless of the shadow falling over her.

She had...

“Sabrina!”

With another sob, she let the thought finish. _She had no friends._

Something touched the crown of her head, right near Hanii.

“Sabrina…?”


	2. I'm Still Here

_"Ridiculous!" Chloé had snapped bitterly. "Utterly ridiculous!"_

_She'd continued to say so as they walked away from the park, Sabrina pausing just a moment to look back. Despite the attack a few minutes ago, everything seemed great over there. More than great._

_Everything looked happier over there. Warmer, maybe? She wasn't sure what the right word for it would be, but…_

_She wanted to go there, but Chloé needed her._

_For the rest of the day, Sabrina had felt an odd squirmy feeling in her gut as she nodded mutely along to Chloé's comments. When the pictures came back, she squirmy feeling got even worse. She was happy for Juleka, really, and Chloé_ **_had_ ** _had someone else take her and Sabrina's pictures later ("Better pictures._ **_High-class_ ** _pictures. We don't need_ **_them_ ** _"), but…_

_The 'Not pictured' note beneath the photo, and she fact that she wasn't among such happy faces, stayed with her for a week._

_And now she knew why._

 

* * *

 

 

She didn't know how long she lay there on the slanted roof, crying into her arms. But eventually her sobs finally began to subside, her chest hurt from the need to breathe properly, and she realized how stuffy it felt to have her face covered like this. Hanii was certainly worried too.

She took in a shuddering breath-

-and then she felt the hand on her head _(crap, she'd forgotten that was there!)_ move a bit, as if lightly ruffling her hair. "Do you feel better?" came a familiar voice.

Sabrina's breath caught in her throat for the second time that day, eyes snapping wide open.

_Oh no._

Sabrina slowly lifted her head up, blinking away the tears and _praying_ that voice wasn't who it sounded like.

_Oh_ **_no._ **

Of all the people to be crouched opposite her, of _all_ the people to see her red, tear-stained, snotty face.

It _had_ to be Adrien Agreste, actual _model_ , didn't it?

Sabrina hurriedly sat up, frantically wiping her face on her sleeves and doing her best to avoid eye contact. All _that_ did though was smear the gross stuff across her nose and cheeks, and knock her glasses a bit. Which only made things worse.

This was not happening, this was _not_ happening-

"Sabrina, sweetheart, it's okay. Don't move too fast, you'll fall off," Hanii's voice came.

No, it was _not_ okay, she had just found out Marinette only felt sorry for her, she didn't have any _actual_ friends, she'd made a complete fool of herself - something she'd never have done if she'd been with Chloé - and now she was bothering Adrien with her stupidity! And showing her gross face to him, that was just _humiliating,_ considering-

-okay, fine he was currently in costume but _it was the same person underneath and-_

"Sabrina."

_Oh, no,_ he was talking to her.

From her peripheral, she saw him reach for her.

Sabrina lowered her fists and cringed, bracing herself.

His hand rested on her shoulder. "Do you want to come down?" he asked, with a half-joking smile. "The _Louvre_ roof _probably_ isn't the safest place for this."

Hanii spoke up before Sabrina could. "Yes; yes, she absolutely would!"

 

* * *

 

 

The roof of the _Louvre_ might not have been the safest place to sit down and cry, but the roof of her apartment building was.

Sabrina found herself sitting in one of the corners about ten minutes later, alternating between sniffing, wiping her face for stray tears, and morosely eating thick frites.

Of all things.

"You know," said Adrien, clearly trying to make _some_ kind of conversation. "I've never seen you eat those."

_I've barely seen you._ That was probably what he _meant._

Sabrina flinched a little, biting down on a cheese-coated frite a little too hard.

"Chloé doesn't like them much," she mumbled with her mouth full. To hell with good manners, he saw her with her face covered in tears and snot, he could see her talking with a mouthful of chewed-up potato, cheddar, and bacon. "Sh-She says they're fattening and greasy and bad for you." She crammed the rest of the frite she was holding in her mouth. "They're my comfort food, though…"

The mention of Chloé made her freeze up a little, and she looked up at her (de-transformed) ally. "You won't tell her, will you?" Almost instinctively, she brought the basket closer to herself, as if to protect the frites inside. And then another horrible thought struck her. "You won't tell Chloé you were alone with me, will you?!"Chloé would have her head if she knew about this!

"Sabrina, why would he do that?" Hanii's tone was gentle, more of a reminder than a scolding.

Adrien just smiled. "No, don't worry." (Sabrina couldn't help notice how he kept one hand tight on his bag, keeping it shut. Come to think of it, she did swear she heard him muttering _"Don't you dare"_ when they bought the frites…)

Shaking those thoughts off, Sabrina looked back at her snack and ate another frite. The cheddar had cooled a bit, and it was a little stringier and gooey now, but they still tasted good. And the bacon bits' taste had seeped into both the cheese and the potato, just as she liked it.

But while they'd made her feel a bit better for the moment, there was still a squirmy feeling in her gut, a dark cloud overhead. She knew it was coming. It had to be. Now that she was done crying and was in a safer place, now that she had something she liked, there was bound to-

"So...did something happen?"

There it was.

Sabrina swallowed thickly, nodding.

No sense denying it, after all. The guy had found her _crying on a rooftop._

There was a brief pause, as Adrien was apparently waiting for her to continue. When she didn't say anything, he took initiative. "What was it?"

Sabrina looked to Hanii pleadingly.

Hanii just hovered in front of her, expression solemn. "Sabrina…" she said, a stern edge to her kind voice.

The redhead sighed, looking back down at her food. "I…" she began awkwardly. She took a frite between her thumb and forefinger, idly twirling it around in a glob of cheese. "I was...I overheard something. M-Marinette invited me to get a smoothie with her and Alya today, and when I went to meet them, I heard…"

_She had no friends._

_Why should she, after she'd spent so much time with Chloé? After all she'd done?_

_Why did she feel she deserved to feel sad about the class photos anyway?_ **_She_ ** _was the one who locked Juleka in the bathroom, after all._

_She had no friends and she deserved it-_

"Whatever she said, I'm sure she didn't mean it in a _bad_ way," Adrien's voice cut into her thoughts. "Alya's a great person."

"I know," Sabrina mumbled, feeling like a heavy stone had settled into her stomach. "But the thing is...the thing is, she was right about it."

"'It?'"

"She said…" Oh, now she felt like she was going to cry again! No, no, she'd had enough of all that, damn it all! "She said...she asked Marinette if she was sure me being there was a good idea. She said it was weird how I was hanging around them all of a sudden, how weird it was that I'd just dropped Chloé like the way I did, and the whole thing with our project? And...and she's right, y'know? She's got a point - I really haven't _done_ anything to make _anyone_ think-!"

She didn't know how she was going to finish that, honestly.

"Ivan lets me sit with him now, but...But nobody actually _likes_ me, I don't think."

"That's not true - people like-"

"Not the same way people like _you_ ," she said sharply, looking up to see a look of mild shock on his face. She turned away again, blinking hard to keep the new tears back. "And...and now I'm just _crying_ again, and- And I thought I'd be over this!" She didn't quite shout those words, but her voice raised a bit, and she moved the basket of frites from her lap to the space between the two of them. Then she brought her knees to her chest and hid her face in them.

"I told Chloé no, I fought her as an Akuma - without my Miraculous, even - and I thought I was making progress but… But here I am again. What's wrong with me?" she said, more to herself than the others.

"Sabrina," whispered Hanii. "I've told you, things are _not_ going to improve overnight…"

"She's right," added Adrien. "Some things take a while."

" _You_ wouldn't know," Sabrina mumbled into her knees.

The silence that followed was a little too long. Sabrina felt the atmosphere change slightly, like static in the air. It made the squirming feeling come back, though not to the extent she'd felt before. The feeling that let her know someone was upset.

And yet...yet it felt more like the way it did when her _dad_ was upset, not _Chloé._ Like, yes, this person was miffed, but they weren't going to do something to her.

"Sabrina." Sure enough, Adrien's voice had hardened a _teensy_ bit, but it didn't make her afraid. She didn't flinch or cower. She just listened. "I was the one who thought you being hurt, when Bug and I met you. I told you, you reminded me a little of _me,_ remember?"

She did. She'd saved every text the heroes had sent her.

"We may not know each other _well,_ but I think I understand more than you give me credit for. So trust me: _I know."_

Sabrina meekly lifted her head, turning to meet Adrien's eyes. He looked stern, but not _angry._ "I _know,"_ he repeated.

Sabrina slowly looked away again. Hanii had told her, when she'd received the aforementioned text, that under the mask the heroes were teenagers just like her. That she didn't know what they might have gone through.

When she'd found out Ladybug was Marinette, Marinette's words made a bit more sense. She remembered how the other girl had been before this school year - more withdrawn and shy, constantly being harassed by Chloé, barely speaking to others…

She didn't really know anything about Adrien's life though, short of the things Chloé had told her. And now she knew she couldn't be sure how much was the truth and what was Chloé's bias.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't think…I don't…"

"I know."

Silence reigned again. Sabrina continued to stare at her legs, fingers lightly tapping against her knees. Hanii had moved to sit in her collar again, nestling her tiny body against Sabrina's neck to reassure her. Nobody said anything - there was just an odd, faint noise next to Sabrina that she honestly didn't care about. It was probably just some bird or something.

...except wait, Adrien was allergic to feathers, right?-

"I said we don't know each other _well,"_ Adrien said suddenly, snapping Sabrina's attention back to him. "But I think that should change." As Sabrina stared in confusion, he turned to her and held a hand out. "Friends?"

Sabrina blinked.

He smiled, reassuring.

Sabrina stared for a second longer before shakily nodding and lifting her own hand. A handshake was a weird way to start a friendship, honestly, but…

Oh, Chloé really _would_ have her head for this.

...but really, how much worse could things honestly _get?_ With a rueful, short laugh, she slipped her hand into his. "Friends…"

_Friends…_

Oh!

Sabrina suddenly gasped, snatching her hand away and fumbling through her bag. "Marinette!"

"Huh?"

"I - I told you Marinette invited me f-for smoothies, but I just- I never texted her or anything, what if she's sent me a text asking where I am?" She frantically pulled her phone out and tapped the screen, stomach plummeting at the new text notifications. "What if she tried to find me on GPS? She can't come here!"

Adrien blinked as Sabrina began typing that she was at home and please don't come over. "How could she find you on GPS?"

"Y-You know, the-!" Sabrina halted.

Implication: He didn't know about the GPS.

Fact: They'd talked about identities, sort of, a few days ago, when she'd helped Izzy.

Fact: Hanii mentioned a glamour.

Conclusion: He didn't know Marinette was Ladybug. But Sabrina _did._

Other fact: She couldn't tell him.

_Oh…_

"The...app...the new phones have…" she mumbled weakly as a new text appeared.

[OK. Meet for patrol tonight?]

"Your phone's not a new model…" Adrien said, sounding confused.

"Uh…" Sabrina faltered.

"Don't worry, kid," a new voice came.

For a split-second, Sabrina recalled her nightmare. With a short scream, she leaned towards Adrien and lifted a hand to cover her comb.

But instead of a masked man with a cane, she saw a tiny black creature sitting in her now-empty frite-basket, wiping cheese goop from its face. It gave her a half-lidded, wry look. "He's not gonna get it."

Sabrina just stared. **_What._**


	3. Fool's Gold

Sabrina climbed through her bedroom window from the fire escape outside, thanking her lucky stars that her father wasn’t home. She just wanted to spend the time until patrol inside, as much as she could. And she didn’t want to have to walk through the door and have to explain to her father why she wasn’t seeing Marinette or Alya like she said she would. 

Or come up with a lie. That would just cause a _really_ tangled web.

...web. Bug kwami. Haha…

She didn’t realize she’d laughed out loud until Hanii glanced at her in confusion. “Sabrina?” she said.

“Oh, nothing, sorry! I just remembered a funny joke…” She smiled weakly as she said it.

Hanii didn’t look like she completely believed her, but nodded all the same. “Is something troubling you?” she asked at last.

“Huh?”

“You have this _look_ on your face,” she explained. “Like you’re thinking very hard about something. You had that look a lot when I first met you,” she added with a smile.

“You only met me a few weeks ago.”

“I know,” Hanii said simply. She didn’t say anything further, instead floating in front of Sabrina with an expectant look on her face.

Sabrina bit her lip, eyes darting for a moment. A faint hum came from her throat, as she seemed to debate with herself. One hand came up to rub her arm.

Hanii just watched, watching.

Finally, Sabrina threw her hands down, looking to Hanii in frustration and dismay. “Do I _have_ to keep all of this a secret?! This isn’t _fair!_ ”

 

* * *

 

_While Sabrina gaped in shock at this new kwami, the boy next to her leaned over with a frustrated expression. “Plagg!” he scolded. “Those were Sabrina’s!”_

_“She wasn’t eating them,” the kwami - Plagg - retorted casually, swiping at his mouth again. “Why waste cheese? Even if it is a pale imitation kind?”_

_Sabrina just kept staring. Somehow, this wasn’t quite the kwami she was expecting…_

_Then again, she’d only met two._

_And one of the two she knew was leaning out, smiling in a sort of exasperated affection at him. “Hello again, Plagg,” Hanii greeted calmly. “You haven’t changed one bit.”_

_“Nor have you.” It was a tiny bit hard to tell with his coloring, but Plagg seemed to be smiling. “Your taste in bees seems to have, though. This girl’s one of the_ **_jumpiest_ ** _I’ve ever seen with you.”_

_“It’s a work in progress and she needed my help. You know how this goes.”_

_Plagg just shrugged. “Eh. True,” he said, then directed his gaze back to the still-staring Sabrina. “But yeah. Like I said. He’s not gonna get it.”_

_“Huh…?” Sabrina mumbled._

_“The glamour,” Plagg reminded, but it was in a weird tone that suggested that wasn’t the entire reason. “Unless someone says something, he’s not figuring it out.”_

_“Plagg--” Adrien began._

_“Or unless she pulls what_ **_you_ ** _did and just drops the transformation in front of people,” he went on, ignoring the sharp looks he got from both Adrien and Hanii. “Man, not even_ **_I_ ** _would have done something like that. What were you_ **_thinking,_ ** _kid?”_

_“I, uh…” Sabrina mumbled, shrinking into herself slightly._

_“Leave it alone, Plagg,” Adrien warned._

_“Yeah, yeah, I was just saying.” And that seemed to be the end of it._

_Sabrina heard an exasperated exhale beside her, then: “So. What’s this about glamour?”_

_It seemed he’d forgotten what they were originally talking about. Good. Good, that was good… Marinette’s secret was still safe, as long as…_

_Sabrina felt numb all of a sudden._

_As long as Sabrina didn’t say anything._

_And she_ **_couldn’t_ ** _say anything…_

_“....it’s stupid,” she finally settled on, slowly hiding her face in her knees._

 

* * *

 

In the present, Hanii chuckled sympathetically, patting Sabrina’s cheek again. “You know you have to,” she said gently.

Sabrina exhaled heavily, collapsing onto the edge of her bed and staring at her Oxfords. “But it’s not _fair,”_ she protested again. She turned her gaze to Hanii, who sat herself on the bedspread next to Sabrina’s legs. “They know who _I_ am, I know who _both_ of them are, why can’t I just _tell_ them and be done with it?”

Hanii’s warm eyes suddenly looked very stern. “Sabrina,” she said. “You _know_ that wouldn’t be right.”

Sabrina felt her cheeks heat up, and looked away sharply. Yeah...yeah, it was true, she did, but…

Hanii kept on speaking, saying more of what Sabrina was already admitting to herself, but didn’t _want_ to. “That would be a violation of both their privacy and trust, to say nothing of their wishes.”

“Chat wants to know…” she mumbled.

“And Ladybug does not,” Hanii gently reminded her.

Silence.

“I do understand where you are coming from, I truly do.” Hanii’s voice was warm again. Sabrina felt her tiny hand rest against her knee. “And I do agree with you - this is unfair. You revealed yourself - not under any circumstances either of us would have liked, of course - and they both told you who they were. And that _is_ putting you in a difficult, vulnerable position.” She paused while Sabrina nodded in agreement. “But that does not mean you have the right to tell one who the other is behind their back. That’s their decision, not yours. You understand that, of course.”

“Yeah,” Sabrina said, mouth dry.

“But I _do_ agree with you, remember that. It’s unfair, and you have a lot on your mind right now but…” Hanii trailed off, humming quietly. Sabrina couldn’t be sure if she was thinking of what to say next, trying to decide _how_ to say it, or if she’d simply run out of things to say. “But this would only make things worse,” she finally said.

Sabrina nodded again. Yes. Yes, she could see that.

If she told Marinette who Chat Noir was, or vice-versa, there’d be hurt feelings and anger, for sure. Of, she was sure they wouldn’t react as badly as Chloé might have, but… Her hands curled into fists. She could just see the hurt and mild outrage Marinette would have. And she could see the dismay and anger she was sure Adrien would have.

And the mistrust. And the potential awkwardness the knowledge could cause in any immediate interactions…

Sabrina sighed again, bowing her head. As if to serve as a reminder, her comb shifted ever so slightly in her hair. “You’re right,” she admitted.

Hanii said nothing in response. She just flew over to sit on Sabrina’s shoulder, nuzzling her cheek.

“Stupid glamour,” Sabrina mumbled. “If it wasn’t here, this would be so much easier.”

“Yes, but then your identities would _all_ be in danger.” A pause. “But yes…’stupid glamour,’” Hanii said with both amusement and sympathy.

“I hate it,” Sabrina muttered, a bit stronger now. “I just wish…” She opted not to finish that sentence, instead lifting a hand in the air and gesturing angrily before letting it drop back on her lap. She didn’t _have_ to finish that sentence anyway. Hanii knew what she wished.

“Do you feel better?”

Sabrina nodded mutely.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Hanii paused for a moment, regarding Sabrina’s profile. Then with a tiny sigh, she added “I’m not _just_ referring to your problem with the glamour, you know.”

Sabrina turned her head slightly, mouth opening to ask what _else_ she could be asking about. Then she remembered:

Oh, right. This entire _day_ had been a bit of a ride.

There was overhearing Alya and Marinette in the library.

Running away in tears, berating herself the whole while.

Hiding on a roof, believing she had no friends at all.

The entire aftermath.

And not even just this day, now that she thought it. There were the nightmares, the stress and fear that Hawk Moth could find her any second, the entire “not hanging out with Chloé anymore” thing…

Now that she thought about all of it, it really was a _lot_ for one girl to deal with.

But she didn’t have to deal with it by herself, she remembered. She had Hanii. She had her teammates. Even if they weren’t _exactly_ friends (were they though? Not-friends didn’t invite you places, or buy you cheese frites and listen to your troubles. But then again she was their teammate so maybe - no, this was confusing and it was part of what caused this whole mess to begin with, she wasn’t going there anymore), they were there to help her.

Sabrina inhaled deeply through her nose, then smiled. A real, big smile. Reaching up to stroke Hanii’s head with her fingertip, she rose from her bed and headed for the door. “I’m all right,” she said. “I’ll be all right. I just…”

She frowned.

She just…

Had to deal with all of this.

The conflicting emotions, reason versus emotion, this whole ‘unlearning’ thing…

(That had been something she’d picked up online, having done a quick Google on some of what she was feeling and having gone through. Some of the websites had talked about “unlearning beliefs and behaviors.” She hadn’t _thought_ she needed to unlearn anything, but then again… Oh, this was complicated.)

She had to deal with a _lot._

And it felt like that wasn’t fair either.

Ladybug - Marinette probably didn’t have to deal with as much.

“I just…”

_Gurglegrrrgle…_

“I just need to eat something…” Sabrina chuckled weakly, heading into the kitchen.

“I’m not surprised,” Hanii laughed a bit herself, flying off Sabrina’s collar and hovering at her side instead. “As delicious as those frites looked, they aren’t very substantial… To say nothing of the fact that most of them were eaten by someone else,” she added. “By the way, if you ever decide to eat those again in Adrien’s presence, I suggest you keep a closer eye on them.”

“Noted.” Sabrina rooted through the fridge and came across a plate of leftover meatloaf, just one shelf below her sugar petal supply. That would work. Just scrape some of the mashed potatoes from last night out of the pan and add a bit of buttered bread and that’d be dinner.

Maybe some food would help her think too.

As she sat on a stool in the kitchen, watching her dinner rotate around, she thought back to a bit earlier in the day. Before the stuff on the roof. When she’d made a fool of herself in front of Marinette and Alya.

She’d...she’d have to fix that…

Sabrina chewed on the inside of her cheek, pulling another sugared rose petal out of the tupperware container for Hanii. But how was she _going_ to fix that? What would she even say?

Alywa had valid points, she had to admit. It _did_ look suspicious that Sabrina was suddenly wanting to hang out with Marinette more. And… And she hated to admit it, but if she were Alya, she’d probably suspect that she - Sabrina - was doing this as part of some elaborate scheme of Chloé’s. Or she was only going after the second most-popular girl in the class, because of some falling-out with Chloé. Those things did make sense, after all.

The microwave beeped shrilly, and Sabrina moved the tupperware to the counter so she could eat her own dinner. Hanii said nothing, apparently picking up on Sabrina’s need to just _think_ a bit.

What was she going to do? Say “Sorry I started crying and ran away from you?” No, that sounded stupid.

“Hey, sorry I was being weird?” No, that sounded manipulative.

“Sorry for invading--” Oh, God no, that _still_ sounded manipulative!

“Sorry for being a drama queen?” _Ugh, no!_

Sabrina groaned around a mouthful of potatoes, tapping her temple with the handle of her fork. This was _hard!_ Why did life have to be so _difficult_ now?!

Ever since she got the comb, things had been getting all turned around. Her life had had more upheavals and shocking twists in the past few weeks than most people had in their entire lives.

Why’d it even have to be _her_ in the first place, now that she thought it. Why’d _she_ get the Bee Miraculous, why did _she_ have to be the one with a weird, awkward, scary life now? It could have gone to anyone, anyone else could be the one having to deal with complicated things like love rectangles and secret identities and keeping those secrets and fighting their ex-bestie and...and…

Sabrina sighed again, casting the briefest of glances to Hanii.

The kwami was still eating her sugared roses, at a leisurely pace so the two could properly eat a meal together. She was humming quietly as she chewed, and seemed contentedly oblivious to Sabrina’s current mental turmoil.

A smile tugged on Sabrina’s face again, a wave of affection washing over her at the sight of Hanii.

Despite all the weirdness and the awkwardness going on…

She honestly wouldn’t have traded Hanii for anything in the world.

Much as she complained or cried, in the end she really was glad to have the Miraculous. In the end, wasn’t it making her life better? Didn’t it get her some friends, some confidence, some freedom?

As if in answer to that, the Miraculous felt the slightest bit warm against her temple.

 

* * *

  

Sabrina expected to transform at the usual time, climb out her window, and head off to meet Ladybug at the usual spot.

She did _not_ expect to see Ladybug standing outside her window, tapping politely at the glass.

 _“Gyah!”_ Sabrina screamed, more in shock than fear.

Ladybug looked sheepish - a more ‘Marinette’ look than a ‘Ladybug’ look, honestly. “Can I come in for a sec?” she asked.

“Uhm! Yes, hang on!” Sabrina ran to open the window, then stepped back a few paces as the spotted heroine climbed through the window. Once Ladybug hopped off the bed - taking care not to put her feet on the covers too much - she dropped the transformation, and there was Marinette and Tikki instead.

Marinette looked around Sabrina’s little room. “Huh. You know, I just realized I’ve never actually _seen_ your room. Usually I just pick you up or drop you off at your apartment door.”

Sabrina suddenly found herself feeling very self-conscious, rubbing one arm and shifting on her feet. Marinette’s room was bigger than this...she hoped Marinette didn’t get a bad impression of it, or ask Sabrina if she was cramped or something.

Chloé would have.

Instead, though, Marinette’s gaze landed on Pierre, and she smiled. “The cactus is my favorite part,” she said, pointing to him.

“I call him Pierre...that’s his water bottle right next to him.”

“He looks really healthy! You’re doing a good job with him.”

“Thanks. I’ve had him for a few years now, I think?”

“If you ever want more plants, I’ve got some - oh, but you already know that--”

“--no, it’s okay, I’m happy with Pierre!”

Awkward silence.

“I’m sorry about--!”

“Listen, I’m sorry for--!”

Marinette blinked, laughed briskly, and gestured towards Sabrina. “Okay, you go first.”

Sabrina inhaled a shaky breath, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I’m _really_ sorry about how I reacted back at school today,” she got out in a rush. “It was - it was _really_ immature of me, just running off with a stupid excuse like that, when you were trying to be nice and I’m sure Alya was embarrassed by it and-- I’m sorry.” She fell silent for a second, then frowned, looking Marinette in the eyes. “What are _you_ apologizing for? You didn’t do anything.”

“Actually, I think I kinda did.” Marinette made a tsk-ing noise between her teeth, tilting her head and rubbing the back of her neck. “I went about this _completely_ wrong. I didn’t warn - tell - Alya about what would start happening, I just dumped this new routine on both of you without warning. Of course she’d get suspicious, and you’d only get hurt. I should have gone about it slower, or maybe made up some story about why you weren’t with Chloé anymore… Then she’d have an easier time believing this was real.

It just ended up causing problems. So I’m sorry about that.”

“But I was the one who--”

“Yeah but you were justified! I was the one--”

“Girls,” Tikki chimed in. “If you start to argue about this we’ll never get anywhere.”

Both girls winced, smiling anxiously. Marinette was the first to speak, ducking her head slightly and looking at Sabrina. “So. Both sorry. Truce?”

“Y-Yeah, truce,” Sabrina chuckled weakly.

Marinette held a fist out, and the girls lightly tapped their knuckles together.

“So that’s why I stopped by early,” Marinette took the liberty of explaining, taking a seat on the edge of Sabrina’s bed. “Whoa, soft mattress...Anyway, if you want to take a few steps back, or cool this off, that’s fine! I can explain to Alya that you’re just a little overwhelmed, or…”

Sabrina shook her head. “No, that’s fine. I mean, I think cooling it would be a good idea, but you don’t have to explain anything. I can speak for myself.” Her expression hardened slightly, but it wasn’t in anger. “I _will_ speak for myself. Tomorrow after school, if that’s okay?”

Marinette blinked twice. “Are _you_ sure? Don’t try to force yourself to do anything.”

“No. No, I want to speak up, or apologize or...or something. I don’t have many friends, but...but I want to change that, and I have to say something if I’m ever _going_ to.” She smiled sheepishly. “I mean...I’m already friends with you and -- and Chat’s civilian self,” she hastily amended.

Yes, they were friends. They were _friends._ She’d try to keep telling herself that as long as it took until it stuck.

“But I should make other friends, too. I want to get along better with everyone in class!”

“That’s the spirit!” Hanii shouted from the desk.

But Marinette wasn’t focused on that. She was staring at Sabrina with wide, shocked eyes. “Wait…” she began, briefly closing her eyes and holding her hands up. “ _Wait._ You know who Chat is behind the mask?”

_Crap._

“Uh.” Sabrina swallowed audibly, forcing a smile on her face. “Yeeeaaaah...we met the day after the Princesse Abeille thing...he kinda wanted to check on me like you did, and. Yeah.”

“You _know_ his identity? You know who we _both_ are?”

“Yes?”

“And _we don’t.”_

“That’s what he said today.”

“Wait, you talked to him _today, too?!”_

“Uh--”

“Okay. Okay, _now_ I’m actually - do we go to school together? Is that how you talked to both of us so easily, in one day?”

“Uh--”

“Or does he just live nearby? How did you do this?” Marinette blinked again as Sabrina, who’d been steadily getting redder and more agitated, suddenly grabbed her pillow and smothered her face in it. “Sabrina?”

All she got in response was a muffled, long shriek, and something that sounded suspiciously like _“STUPID GLAMOUR!”_


End file.
